By Berkeley Barb
As the final moments before erection day tick by, millions of undecided voters are keeping a watchful eye on the national popularity polls hoping for some indication as to how they may cast their vote for president.
In the interest of true patriotism and national security, BARB therefore presents the 1968 BARBer Pole.
This year's BARBer Pole was conducted by presidential candidate Mike Shannon. Shannon queried more than 1900 people in the past ten days and came up with the following results:
Eugene McCarthy 460, Mike Shannon 274, Frank Zappa 190, Pat Paulsen 171, Eldridge Cleaver 135, Dick Gregory 99, Bob Dylan 98, Janis Joplin 70, Humphrey Dumphrey 55, Country Joe and Ted Kennedy tied at 54 apiece, Joan Baez 41, Allen Ginsberg 39, Dr. Spock and Millhouse Nix tied at 34, Rockefeller and Wallace tied at 31, Norman Mailer 29, and Paul Krassner and Holy Hubert Lindsey tied at 22.
Shannon's method for polling was to hand voters a complete list as above, with place for write-in, and request only that they read the entire slate before voting. "Most of the people I talked to were between the ages of seventeen and twenty-two," Mike said. "So what you're really getting here is a sampling of what the youth of the country really warm."
Mike noted that the younger the voter the more inclined her was to vote for a music personality. "Wow", said Shannon. "Look at all the votes for Zappa!"
Percentage-wise, the musical personalities commanded approximately 24%, as did politico peace candidate McCarthy. The democratic, republican, and nazi parties were thoroughly rebuffed.
According to Shannon, he poled about 1000 in Berkeley, 300 in the Haight, 500 at the Carousel, and the rest in assorted places.
"I think I got a pretty good cross-section." said Mike.
We'll find out how cross after the election. 
He's Happy For Zappa
"It's fantastic! We'll win by a landslide!"
These were the words of Francis Vincent, local coordinator of Zappa-For-President, when BARB spoke with him Wednesday afternoon.
The jubilant Vincent had just received word of his candidate's third place running behind Eugene McCarthy and Mike Shannon in the 1968 BARBer Pole.
"It IS a real dynamite show!" he exclaimed. "Look: Shannon is just a local and McCarthy has endorsed Humphrey. Frank is a shoe-in!"
Vincent claimed that though the major national polls favor Nixon, he is expecting a Truman vs Dewey repeat. "It's inevitable."
Vincent conceeded that Zappa's newly-chosen running mate is indeed Wild Man Fisher, the sensational new singing discovery heard on Bay Area underground stations in recent weeks.
"It's time for a new battle cry," the campaigner decreed.
Read by OCR software. If you spot errors, let me know afka (at) afka.net