The Frank Truth

By ?

Creem, April 1975


BIRMINGHAM, MICH - You Mothers make more noise. The response to our Mothers contest in the December CREEM was staggering but we worked our stringy fingers to the bone and are now proud to present the results.

Our first-prize Winner is Peggy Annie Warner ("PAW," she likes to be called, and you'll see why below), of Fort Wayne, Indiana. She gets a pair of real, live Frank Zappa capris (that's pants). Our runners-up are Thomas Wolcott of Brooklyn, New York and Rick McMillen of Eugene Oregon; they get tops (Boy Howdy t-shirts, that is) to go with the pants that went to the first-place winner.

And now, for all Zappaphiles and other interested parties. the questions and answers to the contest (no one got them all right, you know), and the winning essay from Peggy.

1) What two heavy bluesrock guitarists appeared briefly with the Mothers in the very early days? Answer: Steve Miller and Henry Vestine.
2) Who was the first Mother ever to booted from the group? Answer: Elliott Ingber.
3) What famous singer-songwriter once used the Mothers as his backup band because he liked their material and wanted to help them get more exposure? Answer: Neil Diamond.
4) What two record companies fought it out for the rights to Lumpy Gravy? Answer: MGM-Verve and Capitol.
5) What line of equipment did Zappa and crew once endorse in order to avail themselves of some freebie equipment? Answer: Hagstrom Instruments (Manufactured by Merson Universal).
6) What record company president saddled the Mothers with the "no commercial potential" label they have milked so gleefully ever
since? Answer: Clive Davis, then of CBS.
7) What president of what record company induced what Mother to leave Zappa and join what prefab supergroup that bombed miserably. Answer: Jac Holzman of Elektra took Billy Mundi for Rhinoceros.
8) Name five of the nine original acts - besides FZ and his Hot Rats album - to appear on Zappa's ill-fated Bizarre and Straiqht labels? Answer: Jerry Yester & Judy Henske, GTO'S, Tim Buckley, Lord Buckley, Alice Cooper, Tim Dawes, Captain Beefheart, Jeffrey Simmons and Wild Man Fischer.

Essay Question (Of course there's an essay question, there's always an essay question in one of these contests): Explain in three words (or more, or less) just what it is that you find so appealing about Frank Zappa. Answer:
Frank
   Reaches
      Antiphony,
         Never
            Knowing
               Zen,
                  And
                     Pulls
                        Pranks,
                           Always!