Modern Hi-Fi & Music
Two Mynah birds were supposed to get married onstage, but they never showed up, and in their place was a rubber chicken on a wire, a traffic light that leaned to one side, a bust of some obscure 19th Century Pederast, an electric Moose, a Maraschino Cherry and Lance Loud.
It was Halloween in New York at the Felt Forum, and Dr. Dreamland had spread his obligatory fog over the audience for this concert. Everybody (and anybody) was there.
There was Arny the Arab, dressed in his mother's Percale sheets and sporting a Roxy (or elsewhere) turban. There was Otto the organic hogshit farmer, dressed to kill in a pair of matching long johns over which he wore a stunning one piece ensemble of army boxer shorts with red suspenders and a pair of Army combat boots. Fearless Fred, the doorman of a thousand and one nights was sporting his 1832 Turkish washroom attendant's outercoat (complete with epaulets and the Croix de Guerre, given for bravery above and beyond the call of bathroom duty). John the Zombie put in a special appearance. He was wheeled in, his casket crowbarred open, and special slits were cut in the venerable gentleman's bandages so he could partake of the evening's festivities with his one good, albeit slightly moldy, eye and ear. Platform Frieda made an absolutely smashing entrance, dutifully enscribed by Women's Wear Daily, in her 69-inch heels. Later she made a slight, if somewhat cautious bow from the stage. Osgood the Ox, towing a wooden barge filled with what this intrepid reporter guessed was ten tons of guano mulch, was shown to his customary seat at front stage right, chewing his cud. Ten drunken revelers from Fordham, the rhythm section of the Lawrence Welk orchestra, the United States Supreme Court, Ehrlichman & Haldeman, and the Maharishi Jawaka were all let in and made a beeline for the front row of seats. Needless to say, a melee ensued, and after the aisles were cleared and the dope was relit, a semblance of order, or what passed for order, was restored. (read more)