The Rondo Hatton Report
UK
2009 December 21
Vol. 1
King Kong: A Conversational Analysis – Paul Carr & Michel Delville
The Bard Of Baltimore – Kanguy Chow
Zappa’s Music Is a Sphere – Guillaume Dauzou & Sabrina Bergamin
Author/Recipient Relationships in FZ Movies – Manuel de la Fuente
My Dogs Are Barking – Andrew Greenaway
Trouble With Pigs And Ponies – Andy Hollinden
FZ And The English Language – John Loska
When Zappa Played Like Coltrane – Philippe Mérigot
La Dérive Uncle Meat – Didier Mervelet
Waxing Lyrical; Why I Love Frank – Sarah Moore
Isn’t It Romantic, Punky? – Simon Prentis
Frank Zappa Versus the People – Pacôme Thiellement
Are You Hung Up? – Hugo Vanneck
On “Oh No” From Weasels Ripped My Flesh – Ben Watson
2010 March 21
Vol. 2
Thus Spake Zappathustra – Jordi Cuenca
Zappa Over Miles – Susan Doanim
Zappa So What - But Still – Silke Groetschel
Trouble With Pigs & Ponies Pt II – Andy Hollinden
The Chrome-Plated Megaphone Of Destiny – Pawnshop Marimba
You Was A Fool – Philippe Merigot
The Art Of The Ballet – Didier Mervelet
Zappa In Asia – Kohjitsu Ohyama
Monkish Meditations – Simon Prentis
God Vibrations – Homer Shiroy
The Fake ID Of Mr Green Genes – Vladimir Sovetov
When I Went Into The Steinway – Daniel Whitehorse
One More Time For The World – English Versions
2010 June 21
Vol. 3
The Origins Of IINK – Román García Albertos
Cruisin’ For A Ruben – Sue Barashy
Zappa’s Music Is A Time Machine – Guillaume Dauzou & Sabrina Bergamin
Nostalgia For The Old Folks? – Tom Demonay
I’m A Bandleader – Richard Hemmings
Ten (Zen) Commendments – Simon Prentis
Pourquoi Vouloir Mettre Un Caniche Dans Un Bocal? – John Raby
A View From India – Mahesh Ramchandani
There Is Such A Thing As Progress – Hugo Vanneck
One More Time For The World – English Versions
2010 September 21
Vol. 4
Don't Mess With Magdalena – Matt Aku
A Note On Pumpkins – Corya Dereuter
Narrativium Experiment – The Grotchy
Trouble With Pigs And Ponies Pt III – Andy Hollinden
Meeting The Man – Tina Irei
Personal And Collective Memory – Philippe Mérigot
The Ultimate Best Album – Kohjitsu Ohyama
No Poo-Poo Jokes – Simon Prentis
One More Time For The World – Original Versions
2010 December 21
Vol. 5
1. LINGUA FRANKA PART 1 / Arjun von CAEMMERER
2. FRANK ZAPPA TRIBUTE / Paul CARR
3. THE LIL' IPOD SHUFFLE / Sally GENAKU
4. DIONYSUS ON A HALF SHELL / Ivor GOLDKIND
5. FZ: A MEMORIAL CURLICUE / Ron GUY
6. ZAPPA THE DATE-RAPE BASTARD / Eli MICHAELI
7. PLAGUE-A-RHYTHM / Simon PRENTIS
8. SGT PEPPER VS SGT FURY / John RABY
9. RAT TOMAGO / Ozzy TING
10. ONE MORE TIME FOR THE WORLD / English VERSIONS
There continues to be an encouraging increase in viewings: over 1500 readers visit The Rondo Hatton Report from up to 39 language zones in over 50 countries. With our organ now accessed from every continent, we are indeed sweeping the planet…
2011 March 21
Vol. 6
1. LINGUA FRANKA PART II / Arjun von CAEMMERER
2. INCUR ODES / Sue GOYNDA
3. ONE SHOT DEAL / Simon PRENTIS
4. 500 WORDS ON FRANK / Pamela Goodheart ZARUBICA
There's enough material in the archive already to fill a small book - 56 essays in a mix of six different languages - but there's a continental shelf of pinheads still out there, each one engraved with its own surprising detail. That's why we keep listening to the music, of course. Each one of us brings a different insight to the party, and there's always more to be said. It's not a competition. We're always looking for someone with a new angle. Why maybe it's you, and you don't even know it.
2011 June 21
Vol. 7
1. LINGUA FRANKA PART III / Arjun von CAEMMERER
2. CONFESSIONS OF A KUR ADDICT / Urban GRAFFITO
3. IN PRAISE OF THE SHUFFLE / Harry KEATER
4. HIT IT, FRANCESCO! / Ella KUNIGH
5. NOTES ON THE AMAZING MR BICKFORD / John RILEY
6. CRYSTALS AND TURDS / Paul SUTTON
7. MERRY-GO-ROUND MADNESS / Bim YODER
First time visitors are encouraged to dive into the archive: now in our seventh edition, there's enough material there to satisfy your linguistic needs for weeks. But each one of us brings a different insight to the party, and there's always more to be said. It's not a competition. We're always looking for someone with a new angle. Why maybe it's you, and you don't even know it. Feel free to step up to the plate.
2011 September 21
Vol. 8
1. SHUT UP AND LISTEN SOME MORE? / Sam AYORE
2. LINGUA FRANKA PART IV / Arjun von CAEMMERER
3. REVIEW OF ‘MY LIFE WITH FRANK ZAPPA’ / Avner CLEW
4. CALL ME BRUNO/FULAX / Bruno FARRUGIA
5. FINE GIRL VS JEWISH PRINCESS / Anne SCHINDER
6. FZ THE BRAVE ONE / Pamela Goodheart ZARUBICA
Our eighth edition is an opportunity to celebrate two years as an imaginary journal in cyberspace - we seem to have settled into a steady readership now, but those of you who are not standing up still aren't having as much fun as those who are. C'mon, y'all. It's not as if you don't have an opinion, or have been listening to the music all those years without knowing why. We're offering you the opportunity to express yo'self, without edits or overdubs, in front of a willing audience. And while we're not in the business of enforced recreation, we'd still like to hear from YOU. You know it's true.
2011 December 21
Vol. 9
1. HATS OFF TO DWEEZIL? / Jim BEUGH
2. LINGUA FRANKA PART V / Arjun von CAEMMERER
3. I AM A FRANK ZAPPA FAN / Joe CRAWFORD
4. VINYL HYGIENE DILEMMA / Andy HOLLINDEN
5. WHAM BAM THANK YOU SHAZAM / Simon PRENTIS
6. LARRY TAUGHT ME TO GO MERRY-GO-ROUND / John RILEY
7. FREAK OUT / Hank WOODS
As the winter solstice marks the end of Zappadan, our ninth edition rolls out a selection of old friends and new prepared to confess all for your celebratory pleasure. Still not enough of you stepping up to the plate, but the intake is broad enough to prove that we're a catholic church. So if you like what you see here -- and even more if you don't -- take some time out over your holy-daze to let us know how it is where you come from. 'Cos that's the way we like it.
2012 March 21
Vol. 10
1. STRAVINSKY'S INFLUENCE IN FZ'S MUSIC, PART 1 / John ANTHONY
2. SUCH A BEAUTIFUL GUY / Billie BARBOUR
3. LINGUA FRANKA PART VI / Arjun von CAEMMERER
4. TAKING THEMSELVES SURREALIOUSLY / Tom DEMONAY
5. IF ONLY THEY COULDA HEARD IT / Andy HOLLINDEN
6. FRANK ZAPPA'S NIGHTMARE / DJ PANGBURN
7. THE MONSTER WHO NEEDED NO MAKEUP/ John RILEY
Staggering forward to the end of daze, this our tenth edition brings us to double figures with a pleasing confection of personal, political, poetical and academic angles – and an insight into the effects a deliberate program of exposure can have on otherwise unsuspecting minds. As always, we're looking for more contributions, so those of you who are not yet standing up, be advised you are not having as much fun as those who already are...
2012 June 21
Vol. 11
1. STRAVINSKY’S INFLUENCE, Pt 2 / John ANTHONY
2. LINGUA FRANKA PART VII / Arjun von CAEMMERER
3. FZ AND THE SET-LIST / Sean GAFFNEY
4. DON’T JUBILEE’VE IT / Ken MAY
5. BONGO ZAPPA, Pt 1 / Steve MOORE
6. THE APPLIANCE OF SCIENCE / Sheila NYE
7. INSIDE NOW / Simon PRENTIS
8. BEN WATSON RUINED MY LIFE / John RILEY
One and one continues to be eleven as we celebrate a damp summer solstice in style with a clutch of new contributions from our regulars, and a fistful of new names with something to say. It's the usual varied mix of analysis, reminiscence, inspiration, insight and confession, with each writer bringing their own particular obsession to the ball. And so could you do too. All you have to do is consider what keeps you listening to the music, and tell us why. Each and every pinhead has something interesting engraved upon it, and we want to know what you've found. Come join us, wouldya?
2012 September 21
Vol. 12
1. LINGUA FRANKA PART VIII / Arjun von CAEMMERER
2. THE POVERTY OF COMPLETISM / Mimi GABIN-KHAN
3. WATERMELON IN EASTER HEY / Madge IMMANEY
4. ZAPPA SURVIVOR / Scott SCHROEN
5. WHEN COMPOSERS DECOMPOSE / Larry TESHMOW
6. ZAPPA: HEGEL, OR, NOT AGAIN (AGAIN) / Ben WATSON
This our twelfth issue now makes up a round dozen, marking a cycle of three years since our organ first exposed itself to the world. Not bad, not bad, though we do say so ourselves. Whether lurker, shirker or smirker, we hope y'all have enjoyed the show. This edition continues to bring you poetry and polemic from the usual suspects and more, ranging from a heartfelt plea for digital insertionism to another fine opportunity to ruin your life, dispensing essential insights into the counting of tuplets along the way. And lest ye forget: this is an open trans-continental platform for the riding of hobby horses, mechanical or otherwise. Bring yours to the races, why don'chya?
2012 December 21
Vol. 13
1. THE BEST COVERS YOU NEVER HEARD / John ANTHONY
2. LINGUA FRANKA PART IX / Arjun von CAEMMERER
3. THE CRUX OF THE BISCUIT / Mary HALLEY
4. PTTAOASAGM / Simon PRENTIS
5. ZAPPA SURVIVOR Pt II / Scott SCHROEN
This, as you might have guessed, is not the end of the world - whatever the denizens of Inca Roads might have you believe. It is, however, the end of the Rondo Hatton Report - at least for the moment. With an extended archive of over 100 contributions in six different languages, now amounting to some 110,000 words, we can justly claim to have fulfilled our mission to produce a hefty quilt of intellectual underclothing in the guise of zappalogical opinion.
The website will stay live for the time being, and any future contributions held until there is enough material to consider putting out a new issue. Right now, personal and professional issues dictate that our time is spent elsewhere. In a way it's sad that the RHR won't be continuing, but we're sure we'll all be getting into something better. We'd like to express our thanks for your attendance at this website, and to all the people who've contributed time and effort to help create this imaginary journal.